Illustrations...NOT

Lunch at Shanghai Bar proved more entertaining than tummy satisfying. Here's why...

Menus have been passed round, and we have sort of decided what we want. As usual, Bev tarries, and is indecisive..

BEV
hmm...shall i have the laksa..or this noodle thing shown on the picture..
Jie, what is it ah.

KIM
no idea..why don't you ask the waiter when he comes round.

BEV
can't decide...hmm...what do you think it is?

Waiter eventually comes round..

KIM
Give us 1 order of the agedashi tofu, and 1 malaysian curry and rice...

WAITER
erm...what number is that?

KIM
number???? what number???
oh..hang on..
(i have to check the menu!!!)

WAITER
So 1 J01, and 1 J02. (points to bev) you?

BEV
(pointing to the picture)
which dish is this?

WAITER
i donch know. but you cannot order by looking at the pictures. (pause)
becosh they are unreliable. sometimes what they cook inside (points to kitchen) does not look anything like the pictures. i donch want to dissa..dissapoinch you. (chuckles to himself for eternity)

Bev, H and I look at each other in bewilderment.

BEV
OH. (long pause) give me the chicken tonkatsu.

WAITER
what number is it ah?

... ... ...

KIM
(muttering under breath)
tian ah!

BEV & H
(hushed voices)
erm..he's chinese???

KIM
O.

Currently watching: The Scarlet Pimpernel. Next time I want to say the cat's got your tongue to someone, will say "I was beginning to think you'd lost your tongue along with your toenails" instead.